The Christmas film comment came from our 10 year old daughter, “C.” We were on day 2 (?) of horribleness and she said “Look Mom, we are in one of those bad Christmas movies.” What she meant by this was certain Christmas films follow a standard formula of:
1) Something tragic happens, like a family member passes 2) The whole family falls apart 3) The mom loses herself 4) The kids find a way to pull to the family together, like they see Santa or something. 5) The mom and kids learn the meaning of Christmas and feel like their tragedy has some sort of positive feeling on it.
Our tragedy was losing Jesse. We try to hang in there but we all fall apart in our own ways. I have lost “who I am,” my house isn’t organized, I struggle to do basic things, etc. The kids weren’t able to pull anything together. Santa didn’t really matter. He still came to our house and the kids were happy, but it was painful happiness. I hate that kind. The final element, I suppose happened, but it didn’t happen for us. It happened for another family. Jesse was able to donate 4 organs, his heart, liver and both kidneys. We walked next to the hospital bed as he was wheeled to the operating room at 11:40 p.m. on Christmas Eve. I wish I was making this up, it is still unbelievable.
Anyways. She is right. Our life now seems like a poorly made Christmas film. To many elements are unbelievable and therefore it’s not making for a good story. Except it is literally our real lives.
Untitled Grief of a Young Widow 