Collection of Thoughts.

Fentanyl Widow.

β€œOkay, so, would you like to know what was in his system?” “π™²πšŠπš— 𝙸 𝚐𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚜?” β€œβ€¦sure” “πš„πš–πš–πš–………πš–πšŠπš›πš’πš“πšžπšŠπš—πšŠ?……..πšŠπš•πšŒπš˜πš‘πš˜πš•?…. πš πš‘πšŠπš’𝚜 πšπš‘πšŽ πšπš‘πš’πš›πš πš˜πš—πšŽ?” β€œFentanyl.” I knew Jesse was going to die. When I say knew, I didn’t mean December 22, 2020 at 4:20 p.m. I meant I knew if he kept acting so reckless something bad would […]

To The Widow Who is Sick of Being Judged.

I see you. Hundreds of you, all saying the same thing: β€œI am afraid of…” What are you afraid of? Finding your husband dead? Getting that phone call that he is gone? Seeing him as ashes or cold to the touch? Realizing that the entire life you planned with him is completely gone? As a […]

Winning At Grief.

When people think of a personality disorder I think they think of a moody woman that isn’t stable. That’s what I thought anyway. That’s only a small portion of them though. A personality disorder is really just an observation that the person isn’t “meeting societal norms.” They are different, literally. Sometimes this amounts to good […]

Law School Begins. Again.

When Jesse died during the end of December 2020 I was taking a two hour credit course during the β€œbreak,” about legal writing. That day I turned in my assignment with anxiety over it and planned to tell Jesse about it later that night. I didn’t get a chance to though. I told my school […]


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